Day 37: I wish

This past week I've had the pleasure of teaching gifted 6th graders at Rossview Middle School. I was very nervous at first. I didn't really know what to expect, not to mention that I was not liking my cooperative teacher much (although now I totally love her....but I digress). After my lesson today, I breathed a sigh of relief. Tomorrow won't be hard in the least. As I sat in the back of the class, right before the final bell, a thought struck me....they're babies. Sure, they're in 6th grade...no longer elementary kids. But they're still babies. I stood by the door, telling them all goodbye, and an overwhelming urge came over me to stop them, close the door, and really teach them. I wish I could spend more time with them....there is so much I feel like I want to share. They're growing up so fast.....and there is so much that school doesn't teach them.

To the girls: I wish I could gather you all around me, look each and every one of you in the eye and tell that you are beautiful. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Don't ever let anyone tell you any different. I wish I could hold your hand during your first heartbreak and tell you it's going to be okay. I wish I could convince you that sex is never the answer and that it never means love until you're married...to hold onto your innocence as long as you possibly can. I wish I could tell you that long after your highlights fade and your lipgloss rubs off, what you're left with is what's on the inside. You're tenacity...you're personality....you're work ethic.....you're self-esteem...these are the things you need to develop. You may not believe me now, but the way you dress and comb your hair will mean little in your future. Yeah, sure, we're all about looks in our society....but when you're mature enough to understand this, you'll look back and wish that you had spent more time just listening to your parents instead of arguing with them...that you had just let yourself be who you wanted to be instead of who you thought others wanted you to be. Trust me...I know that I came to that place myself. I wish I could look at you and say if there is something that you don't like about yourself, then change it. But not for anyone else...only for you. I wish I could convey to you that the boys will seem like jerks for a really long time and that's okay...they're going through some hard stuff too....but you should never allow someone's opinion of you shape your own. I wish I could brush your hair out of your face and tell you that you're amazing, just as you are...you have a purpose, a reason for being here. Remember that you're self-esteem comes from yourself...that we all have SOMETHING we wish we could change. But in the end, who you are as a person matters the most.

To the boys: I wish I could sit you down and tell you that it's okay to have emotions. I wish I could tell you that it's okay to hug your mom goodbye...I wish I could remove the stigma that if you have feelings, you're not really a man. I hope that you have strong father figures...I hope you see that you're work ethic and your morals are what matter most. I wish you could understand that your manhood doesn't come from how many chicks you have. I know this sounds crazy, you only being 6th graders and all, but I hope that you see beauty fades, but dumb is forever. Some of you will be brought up to think that having a gorgeous girlfriend means you've finally made it....don't believe the hype. Focus on developing friendships with people you want around for more than four years. Focus on having other like minded boys/men in your life that will edify you, not tear you down. I wish I could show you that money doesn't equal power...that when you die, you don't take anything with you. I wish that you had more male teachers. I wish I could look each one of you in the eye and tell you that you're special.

I hope these kids know how much I respect them. I hope they know how impressed I am with them...how I can look into their round little faces and see future leaders, teachers, and believers. I hope that they know that they were made for a very specific reason...and they weren't accidents. I wish I could wipe away all the injustice and hurt they may possibly face in their school career...the cliques, the breakups, the gossip, the rumors, the backstabbing. I wish I could fast forward their lives to the place where they know who they are and are comfortable with that. I wish I could give them the self love they need. I can't. But I pray every night that they know all this, somewhere deep down.

Maybe tomorrow I'll tell them.