Day 81: Backwards

Last night, as I'm hanging out with Amanda, I realized that perhaps I have been thinking in backwards ways. It's kind of weird, looking back over my choices and thinking "hmmm....perhaps I WAS wrong". Even with all this new information, I still feel kinda weird. Like, where do I go from here? And how do I keep my emotions/feelings in check? Even with all this growth, I still feel *slightly* bummed....so what now?

Along with this revelation, I learned something else....while pressure was applied in many circumstances, my true "problem" has been lack of closure. The last few men I've been interested in, things have just stopped. There's been no "let's just be friends", or even "it's not you, it's me"; instead it's been just no more communication on their part. That's been my major hang-up. I really do mean it when I say that I wish guys would just be honest. If you're not interested, then JUST TELL ME. I swear, I'm a big girl and I can handle it. As a matter of fact, I prefer it. That way, I can move on and not have to wonder. I want what everyone else wants....a healthy, loving relationship. And if somewhere along the way the guy I'm interested in decides he's NOT interested in me....fine. That just frees me up to meet the man that will be interested in me.

If I was a guy I would do things so differently. Which means it's probably a good thing I'm not a guy.