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Big girls don't cry...
at least, we're told why
we shouldn't shed a single drop;
and sometimes, we're told to stop....

To stop worrying, wasting our time
to quit complaining and just wait in line.
I often wonder, just who am I?
When will I feel free to fly...

Far away, not near, but far
to reach not just my dream but for the farthest star.
I wonder, what's holding me back?
Could it be fear or something I lack?

Could it be time for me to make due
with the things I've been given to
complete this journey we call life...
instead, I worry I'll never be a wife.

Such a silly wish, when you ponder it
What time I waste when I think and sit
of the things that are not meant for me yet....
for the people I have not met.

But alas, I cannot share how I truly feel
I want to scream, to shout, to peel
away the layers of skin and lies
my, how time flies....

even when you're not having fun.
I said goodbye long ago to the one
I thought I was, outside and in...
I think this is when my life will truly begin.

Color of my skin...

The color of my skin doesn't matter much
really, I didn't have input, so it could be chance, or luck

I often wonder, what life would be like if i were someone else....
but then, oh then, i wouldn't be myself.

I'm reduced, quite often, to the color of my skin
and it seems as though it should be called a sin

Typical sorority girl, quick to drink, easy to please
but then, oh then, most boys thought i was a tease

I didn't compromise myself while attending that school...
instead i lied, to feel better, to somehow make blaire cool

I look back now and realize I had compromised myself...
in an effort to not be set apart, to be like everyone else.

I often think, what if, what if I wasn't white...
what then, oh then, would my life be like?

Would be no different, i'm sure if I were in a different skin...
I'd still cry, still wonder why, still try and live far from sin

And so I feel that I am not just the color of my skin
the things that show outside do not reflect where I've been

I realize for all that the color of your skin
reflects much less, yes less, then the person you are within

Ode to a fat girl
Dear sweet girl so fat
please don't hide your face like that
I know they stare, snicker and point
but stop before you sell yourself short

You're body is the refelction of you on the in
So you're true journey will only begin
when you look to your soul and ask
"What is this I'm hiding behind? A mask?"

Love yourself, even if they don't
Believe in yourself, even if they won't
Be encouraged; the best is yet to come
You can lose weight and be free...they'll always be dumb

Gym rat
The clank of weights awakes my inner strength
I struggle at times to catch my breath
I avoid looking in the eye
the reflection I've grown to hate

I push and moan to achieve a goal
I leave sweat marks on the floor
Striving further to reach my potential
I wonder if I'll ever just wear a sports bra

Sipping water in between reps
My body crying for me to quit
Perseverance wins this round
I do an extra five crunches

Finishing I turn to find myself naked
Still clothed, but open and vulnerable
I wonder what will happen next week
I drive away feeling lighter