God desires to reconcile us back to Him. No matter what you do or how many times you do it, God wishes to bring you back to Him. Always. This brings an interesting tension into our own lives: when do we allow people back into our lives? And when do we say goodbye? Hopefully, this study will help you make an informed decision, instead of making a "heat of the moment" one.
*Matthew 10:12-13 = " As you go into the house, give your greetings and wish it well. Then if indeed that house is deserving, let come upon it your peace [that is freedom from all the distresses that are experienced as the result of sin]. But if it is not deserving, let your peace return to you."
What this passage is saying is that if you enter into a situation, not just a house, if you feel it will bring no good into your life, leave. This does not make you bad Christian or a bad person; it keeps you in perfect peace. If you allow anything to seep into your mind and compromise that, then you'll compromise your sanity. And who wants that?
When do you let go? How do you know? There are 7 ways to tell.
1) When you're physical, spiritual, and emotional health is threatened, it's time to let go
*Psalm 11:5 = "The Lord tests and proves the righteous, but His soul abhors the wicked and him who loves violence."
*Proverbs 28:17 = "If a man willfully sheds the blood of a person, he is fleeing to the pit..."
*Psalm 55:19-22
If there is intent in your relationship to cause harm, then it's time to let go. If a person places their hands upon you, it's time to let go. If there is intent to harm your emotional health, it's time to let go. This doesn't mean that you walk away after misunderstanding or argument...but it does mean that if someone is continuously belittling you or hitting you, get out. No questions about it.
2) When you're motivation is the fear of being alone, it's time to let go
*Genesis 38: 6-26
I have to admit that this one hit home for me. Using someone to fulfill your codependency issues is wrong. It's hurtful for everyone involved. It's basically you're way of saying I don't know how to be alone. But with God, you're never alone. He loves you completely....He's never too busy to return phone calls...won't cheat on you...won't let you down. He'll love you and continue to make you whole until you ARE ready to meet someone. The world will have you believe that if you're NOT with someone, there's something wrong with you. But that's not the case. Say it with me now = "Until God is ready, I'm alright; I love myself!"
3) When you have begun to accept a way of existence that is contrary to God's will, it's time to let go
*1 Corinthians 15:33 = "Do not be so deceived and misled! Evil companionships corrupt and deprave good manners and morals and character."
*Job 21 = would not take his friends ungodly counsel
*Matthew 7:21-23 = "Not everyone who says to me Lord Lord, will enter the kingdom of heaven, be he who does the will of My Father Who is in heaven [will]. Many will say to Me on that day, Lord, Lord have we not prophesied in Your name and driven out demons in Your name and done many mighty works in Your name? And then I will say to them openly, I never knew you; depart from Me, you who act wickedly [disregarding My commands].
*Psalm 1 = counsel/company of the wicked
The Bible that I use while writing this post is the Amplified Bible. In the King James version, in Matthew 7:21-23, Jesus refers to the people calling his name as "workers of inequity". Inequity is the bending towards something, but not the actual action. Inequity = the bending towards something; Sin = the action; Wickedness = the lifestyle. If your crowd is beginning to change who you are, if your crowd is beginning to influence you, it's time to let go. Don't let yourself become something you were never meant to be. If you allow yourself to run with workers of inequity, you will become just like them. Keep yourself first and foremost in the presence of The Father... keep His commandments in your heart, and you will live the life He intended. Which, by the way, truly is better than you could ever imagine. Forget the clothes, the house, the cars.....think about the peace, financially, spiritually, emotionally and physically. Rest in that and you'll go far. I can testify that the Lord gives you the desires of your heart; when He's ready, He'll release them unto you. Until that day, don't allow the people around you to change you. This could lead to the changing of your destiny.
4) If you allow yourself to develop a messianic complex, it's time to let go
*1 Corinthians 3: 3-5 = Paul reminds a church in Corinth that he did not save them; God saved them. He reminds them that he is merely a vessel through whom the Lord chose to work.
*Proverbs 16 = spirit of pride
It is your responsibility to point the people you interact with towards the Savior. It is not the credit you should be seeking, for it is not for your glory. It is for the Lord's. If you ever get into a relationship and think "I can change them", you're wrong. Only God changes people, not you...or me for that matter. You can only point them in the right direction.
5) If you discover that you're hindering the person from their destiny, it's time to let go
If you love me, love me enough to let me go. Don't hold onto something. This, too, hit home for me. There comes a point in your life when you have to realize that you have to make yourself happy before you can EVER make anyone else happy; you also have to realize that you have to do the same for others. You must allow the people that you love to become who they are supposed to be instead of holding them back. It's also important to know that if two good people aren't good together, it doesn't make them wrong, or bad. This is a good time to mention that there are two ways to come into a relationship: 1) divine appointment and 2) human desire. If you're relationship isn't in order, then you're disobeying God.
6) When a person says they don't want to be with you, it's time to let go
*1 Corinthians 7:15 = "But if the unbelieving partner leaves, let him do so; in such cases, the brother or sister is not morally bound. But God has called us to peace".
I knew before this sermon even began that this would be one of Bishop's points. And man, did it hurt to hear. Who wants to hear from someone that they don't want to be with you? You can even find yourself rationalizing the situation by saying things like "they just don't know that they want" or "they'll come around, eventually". For me, I used to equate this with the way I looked. Like, "if I was skinny, he'd stick around" or "if I looked like a model, he'd make time for me then". It hurts, no questions asked. But let me tell you this; if they don't want you, someone will. And, at the end of the day, the person that is meant to be with you will be BETTER because they'll be for you. I want to speak from the heart and be perfectly honest: This has happened to me time and time and time again. I seem to have a knack for meeting men that "like me "but not enough to be with me. There have been many excuses over the years; and frankly, each one has hurt in some way, made me wish I looked different or acted different...even made me question myself. The conclusion that I have finally come to (about two days ago) is that I'm done trying to convince people, especially men, that I'm worth having around. At the end of the day, I know who I am. No one can take that away from me. And seriously, if you walk away from me, you're walking away from an amazing person. For the first time in a long long time, I have realized that I just don't care. Not in a bad way, but in the way that allows me to be happy exactly where I am...and expecting the best in my future. Now that I'm off my soapbox, here is what Bishop Walker had to say
If a person tells you that they don't want to be with you, why would you want to be with them anyway? This doesn't change who you are. The Bible also teaches us that people can be reconciled back to people just like we can be reconciled back to God. I will also add a personal note here and say that I used to be a "bridge burner". In other words, once a person walked away from me or I from them, I was done...forever. I now no longer operate this way. It's negative and I don't want to be a negative person. But I digress once again. The Bible teaches in Acts 12:25 of when John Mark decides to leave the discipleship. He no longer wishes to participate in those kinds of activities. In 2 Timothy 4:11, Mark is asked back. Why? Because he is valuable to the KINGDOM. He is useful and still has value. When two people, especially two believers, part ways, there is always the possibility that they may one day come back together; but generally for the glory of God. This was an important concept for me to really grasp. But once I did it's easier for me to "forgive and forget" so to speak. It's also a lot less stressful!7) When you begin to replace God with the particular relationship(s), it's time to let go
*Exodus 34:14 = "For you shall worship no other god; for the Lord, Whose name is Jealous, is a jealous [impassioned] God."
When you begin to pull away from God, you should let go. God should be first and foremost in your life; when you begin to see that you're not spending enough time, you need to cut it and move on. You can't allow your relationship to become an idol. As Bishop said, we'll complain about giving $5 to God, but go broke trying to impress someone else. When you begin to live this way, making a relationship an idol, God will say "okay"...you need a breakthrough? Call on them. You need someone to comfort you in the night? Call on them. You should develop the mentality that nothing will separate you from the love of God. Nothing.
I will say this in conclusion...once you examine your relationships and determine which are from God and which are human desired, you fight for the God sent. When it's not of God, and you KNOW IT, then you let it go. I hope you got something out of this! Be blessed!
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